Cliff Loesch July 20, 2008 What Any Mother Wants Matthew 20:20-28        In Matthew 20, a mother came to Jesus with a request.  As we heard a moment ago in the passage that Tori read, her request was not granted.  And she may have felt a little rebuffed by Jesus.  Certainly it caused some bad feelings among the other disciples.  But this mother's request was not really all that surprising.  What she was asking is along the lines of what any mother wants for her children.  If you think about it, no one would wish the opposite for their kids; there's no way that any mother would come to Jesus and say something like this: "Sir, my deepest hope for my two boys is that they will be completely average in every way.  I would be so pleased if they blended in with the crowd and that they did not stand out in any way from the others.  This would make me so proud to see my boys turn out to be just like everybody else."  No, there is no mother on earth with these kinds of hopes for her children.  All mothers, all fathers, want their children to excel in some way.  This passage from Matthew has led me to think a little about what I want for my own kids:  I want them to find their unique place in this world.  I want to see them develop their gifts in ways that bring joy to them and in ways that bless others.  I want them to cultivate their skills and abilities to their full potential.  I want the world to be a better place because of them.  I want all of their relationships to be positive and peaceful.  My hope is that their very presence will be life-giving to others.  And my prayer is that the Light of Christ will shine strongly through them.  Perhaps this is starting to sound like a long list-but then again, I've only just begun.  I can think of many other things that I wish for Parker and Molly.  And whatever children are part of your life-whether it be your own children or grandchildren, or whether it be nieces and nephews, or whether it be the children of friends, or the kids among us here at University Friends Meeting-I know your list of hopes and dreams is just as long as mine, and every bit as full of hope that the futures of our kids will be bright and pleasant, and that they will make a difference in the world.        So the mother of James and John came to Jesus-and what was so wrong with her request, anyway?  On the one hand, I'm not sure we need to see it as "wrong," necessarily.  I mean, her ambition for her sons is totally understandable.  We can relate to her hopes that her children would stand out from the crowd.  So in that sense, there was nothing wrong, per se, with her request.  It was very natural.  I imagine that most mothers and likely most fathers have made similar requests for their children.  Sometimes parents step in where they probably shouldn't.  "Why don't you play my son a little more in the games?  My daughter would have been a better choice for that part.  Why did you give my child a B-when clearly they deserved an A?"  Yes, indeed.  All parents have surely stepped in on behalf of their children to talk to a coach or a director or a teacher-with a little advice of our own.  It's human nature.  But in the majority of those cases the advice (or the whining) of the parent isn't very welcome.  Indeed, the aims of the parent and the goals of a coach, for example, are not always the same.  The parent seeks for the promotion of one child; the coach for the whole team.  The parent seeks a growing opportunity for one child; the coach for many kids.  And ideally, the coach is seeking the growth of all kids-those with more potential and ability than yours, as well as those with less.  So if there is something to criticize about the mother of James and John, it is not that she wanted the best for her sons, nor that she was bold enough to say something-but she did not see the bigger picture.  She didn't see the bigger picture for her two sons, even, and she didn't see the bigger picture related to Jesus' purpose and mission.  For her two sons, the request she made was fairly short sighted.  She asked for status and position and, basically, that's all.  She didn't come to Jesus and say, "Please notice their gifts," or "Use their gifts," or even, "Help them develop their potential to minister to others or to make a difference in the world."  No.  All she wanted was status.  Make them number one and number two.  Make sure all the others know that you like my sons the best.  And to me, this was a short-sighted request on behalf of her sons.  She wasn't seeking their personal growth or development.  She wasn't seeking a leadership position based on giftedness or ability or calling.  She was simply seeking status.  And I'm saying that I question whether this kind of request truly took into account the best interest of her sons.  She was not seeing the bigger picture where they were concerned.  And she was not seeing the bigger picture where Jesus' ministry and purpose were concerned, either.  The first thing Jesus said to her was, "You do not know what you are asking."  To put it in slightly more modern terms it's almost like she was asking, "Could my boys please be number one and number two here at the Alamo?"  Or, "Could my sons be co-1st mates here on this great ship, the Titanic?"  Jesus' reply to the woman was, basically, "Ma'am, I don't think you really know what you're asking."  Jesus knew there was a storm coming.  He knew that things would get really tough for anyone who stayed with him.  There would be an intense time of testing.  The mother in this passage did not see the bigger picture of the difficulties that might be involved with being closely associated with Jesus.  And Jesus asked the sons directly, "Are you able to drink the cup that I am about to drink?"  They said to him, "We are able."  And Jesus basically said to them, "OK, then.  You'll get that chance.  But to say who sits on the right and the left-that's not mine to grant."         In addition to not seeing the bigger picture, I think you can also say that in her request, the mother did not understand Jesus' view of status and position.  But it wasn't just the mother that didn't understand this.  The sons hadn't figured it out yet, either-nor had the rest of the disciples.  And when the grumbling started, Jesus turned this incident into a teachable moment.  He called his disciples together and tried to explain to them (and to us) the importance of serving others.  He was turning the whole status thing upside down.  Lording it over others and abusing power were out.  Serving others was in.  In fact, Jesus said that the path to greatness is to be a servant of others.  I'm sure this was difficult for them to comprehend.        Remember what I said a little while ago, when I imagined a hypothetical mother coming to Jesus with the unexpected requests that she hopes her sons will grow up to be completely average-that they will not stand out from the crowd in any way, that they'll just blend in?  As we think about this, alongside Jesus' statements about greatness and being a servant, let me also ask some questions about our Quaker testimony of equality-because those observations raise some questions: Is this a picture of what we mean by equality?  That no one stands out, that everyone is basically the same?  No.  In my view, the Quaker testimony of equality is not that everyone is the same-it's that all are equally valued.  It's that every gift is important.  Our testimony of equality means that we attempt to value everyone no matter who they are, no matter what their gifts and abilities might be.  Indeed, people should use their gifts, whatever they are, including gifts for leadership.  Even with the Quaker testimony of equality, there will still be those who are presidents of organizations and executive officers of companies.  And there will still be those who serve in less noticeable ways.  But in using our gifts, whatever they are, we should seek to excel.  The goal of equality is not sameness-all are encouraged to use their gifts, so there will be great diversity.  Some will even stand out by their particular giftedness.  But the goal of equality is that all will be valued-and also that all will operate with the attitude of a servant, as Jesus taught in this passage in Matthew. When the mother of James and John came to Jesus with her request-her actions are completely understandable.  But it's also obvious that her views about status and position were completely shaped by society's attitudes.  Jesus took a different view.  By word and example he taught all of us that those who are really great in this world are those who learn to serve.